Thank you for sharing!
There are so many days, I feel alone. That I have lost my identity. So many times I look around and feel very alone in this process. But today I do not!
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Happy New Year's Eve!
I am sorry I have not written on my blog lately, this last couple months have been very rough and I could not bring myself to even share it with you. I am sorry.
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L&I "Limbo Land"
Why is this okay? Why is this allowed? Am I the only one? No, unfortunately I am not. I have been on L&I (self-insured mind you) since 7/16/17 and I am always waiting! Waiting for responses from my claims manager! NO response, is normally what I receive....and I do not understand!
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Guard Your LIFE!
In tough times it can be easy to get lost in frustration, sadness, and fear. These destructive thoughts that roll around in your mind can find their way to your heart. They can overwhelm things that are good and special in your life. People can begin to travel down a path that only leads to more pain and heartache for those who love them. You must guard your heart, mind, and LIFE from this downward spiral!
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Take A Vacation!
I took a vacation. It was a great relief to be away from my home and worries, even if it was only temporary. It was amazing to get a mental break. I highly recommend taking a “time out” from your life and struggles. Yes, it may hurt, yes it may be still emotional to not function as you would. But it is definitely a way to achieve some respite for your soul.
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Your Presence Matters!
It has been a long grueling month, so much mourning in my life lately. Mourning for myself and for others. When you lose someone or a part of yourself and begin to accept the reality of it, you begin to think differently about life overall. I have been pondering the importance of life. The sheer value of presence and purpose. Presence even if it is not perfect is an amazing gift, too many take for granted.
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Exhaustion!
This last month has just been hard, too much going on, too much stress, too much grief, too much pain. Not enough sleep, rest, or downtime. EXHAUSTED!
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The Ugly Truth!
I re-posted my initial injury last week, at this point I have hit the 3 yr. mark since that event. I have now been through my FCE (functional capacity exam) and have been considered MMI: at maximum medical improvement. All in the last 2weeks. My results were awful and the last two weeks have been heartbreaking and emotionally almost unbearable. I am going to get very real and share what I have been going thru.
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The Beginning!
As I filled out what may be my last nursing licence renewal this week ,I noticed how few people had read my blog on how this all began. I know that it was my first post and no one was reading my blog at that time, I felt I needed to share again how my journey began , so you could understand where I am coming from now....at the beginning of the end. Sorry for the few that this is redundent too. Welcome to the beginning of my journey,I hope it helps you catch up and understand what I have been writing lately.
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Self-Care...In A New Light!
Self-care is a huge movement right now; and it’s a good one! You can read about it everywhere. But when you are injured it takes on a whole new level to achieve. The first things you must think about are your personal capabilities and your emotional status at the time. As someone who is injured and severely limited in many “activities” that would be considered normal "self-care", I thought maybe we could discuss how to begin the process of taking on self-care with limitations, as I am learning to do.
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Get Help...Before It Is Too Late!
I shared last week about my breakdown, or hitting rock bottom, whatever you want to call it. I shared how I was unable to cope anymore and had to take a “Time out” from my life and turn everything off, and just pour out my soul...all the pain, disappointment, grief, guilt, and fear. I was only able to do this because I had help.
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My Adult "Time Out"
I am sorry, I was unable to write anything last week. I needed a break. I needed some time to grieve and re-focus. Just like my 5yr old at times, emotionally I can become overwhelmed with my situation, circumstances, and struggles, life can be hard! Just like a crying child who cannot even speak because they are so upset, we as adults can feel the same way, I needed a “Time out”... a time to refocus and evaluate, and let out all the pain and fear I have been holding inside.
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You can feel...the way you feel!
I want to talk about something I am struggling with. Allowing myself to feel what I FEEL. That may sound a bit redundant, but it is a contradiction to how I was raised and how people discuss problems now days. We are not encouraged to feel what we are feeling...consider “suck it up buttercup”, “are you having a pity party?”, “pull your big girl pants up!” and there are many more. None of these statements have any hint of “it is okay to feel how you feel." How can we deal with our feelings if we ignore and or, worse cast them into the closet and pretend that they do not exist?
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It's not just my back...that is broken!
I have been injured; everyone knows that by now. My back is always in pain, I cannot move my pelvis without pain, my SI joint is in pain with every step I take. This is no secret, but what others do not realize is sometimes that pain can be easier to deal with than everything else that has been broken because of my back. Me!
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Accomplishment Amidst Disaster!
Things have been bleak for me lately. I am having a very hard time hanging onto hope, and functionally dealing with my feelings. I am sad and overwhelmed by my circumstances, which I know are not going to be temporary now. (I will share about this when I am able too) But I am able to change my focus sometimes, and use my energy to remember accomplishments of the past. This is proving to really help me maintain some balance.
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To the Families
Hello There! My name is Alexis and I am Rocky’s daughter. I am currently 23, married, and just recently graduated from college with a degree in English Education.
I would like to say that I have no real medical background, nor have I ever been hurt while working.
But injuries at work affect more than just the person who got hurt, they impact the families that rally around those that have been hurt.
Let me paint a picture for you.
"I am fine"...The Lie!
"I am fine". That is my usual response to being asked how I am feeling? How is it going? Or, hey how have you been? "I am fine" or "I am hanging in there" (smiling of course!). These are my typical “go to” phrases. Honestly though....I am exhausted, emotionally, physically, and spiritually EXHAUSTED!
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Seeking Hope In Troubled Times
There are times when everything in your life may seem hopeless. It may be now. You may be struggling with climbing the highest mountain, and are ready to give up. I urge you to seek HOPE!
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I Need Help!
What a simple phrase. I need help. It can mean so many things. It can be taken so many ways. Why is it one of the hardest phrases to say when it is for ourselves?
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Wake up!! Nurses,Aides....Everyone!
I would like to discuss the financial ramifications facing an injured worker in this blog. But it also applies to everyone: Because L&I standards are the same for every occupation. There are some things every family, single parent, ect. should be aware of, and prepared for, JUST IN CASE!
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From Pain to ANXIETY!
Today I would like to talk about the cycle of pain that I experience from one day to the next and the anxiety that comes with this.
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Dealing with Depression and COV-19
I know everyone is in isolation right now. I live in WA state and we are at almost 2 months of “shelter in place” isolation. But I have personally been dealing with isolation, for approximately 2 ½ years now.
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My Truth, Mother's Day
My family is amazing! They support me every day. They help me with everything. I cannot put into words how wonderful they are!They all love me!
They never complain about my injury, and really never have, not even once.
Food for thought....The ER visit!
So, I left off last time with me going to the ER (emergency room). By this time all my adrenaline had worn off, and I was in excruciating pain! I went through triage, and got checked in like everyone else would.
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Starting at the Beginning
First and foremost, I want everyone to know I am scared (maybe a tad bit terrified!) to write this, and I am not sure how it will be accepted. I am afraid of judgement and ridicule. I am not perfect and my decisions and journey will not be the same as others, but I am going to share from my heart and that is all I can do.
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